Well,i think i m a major slacker.
I've never worked my 100%,i must admit.
I love to daydream,so i get lost in the middle of things.
Can't do this anymore in this school,i ll seriously die.
And i'm starting to love piano more,isnt that a good thing? (:
I guess i hated it when i came to sota because i changed piano teacher for the first time and after that i stuck to the same grade for the past 5 years?
But this year,everything is gonna be different.
Our relationship is running more smoothly now,and i just can't describe how contented i am (:

Omg i feel the need to blog so much.
So many ideas growing in my head and i m so tired from stopping them -.-
Sigh,i DONT WANT TO DO WORK.this sucks.
i feel like i m forcing myself.
4.30-5.45 SRM
5.45-7:00 PIANO
7:00-8:00 LIT and TV
8:00-8:30 finish up LIT
8:30-9:00 BATH
9:00-9:30 BIO
9:30-9:40 Pack bag/Do CHINESE

omg, ==

What the fuck happened to me.
I don't know why i've become like that.
If i am i would have had many friendships problem is it not?
I guess i've changed,i dont know why i did.
or isit just to the person i love the most?
I'm always tempted to do anything and everything to please you.
As for friends,i would just tell them directly about anything.
Argh,this is just fucking fucked up.
I hate my brain,why does it work like that.
Nothings going right,nothing.

I still taste everything as bitter.
I thought i could make things better because i was already changing.
I felt the numbness in my heart from your sudden change in mood.
I know i used to have character problems,but so what,give yourself a chance to believe me can't you?
The weather is going according to whatever i m feeling inside,well,i'm crushed to bits.
I only have me and myself to support myself to get up again.
Can't this process be sped up any faster?
Please open your eyes bigger,can't you see i'm already trying very hard?
Can you ask me before jumping into conclusions and turn everything upside down?
I'm really not that kind of person.
I wanted to make you happy today,that was it.
You're not giving me any space to have a chance to prove anything to you.
I know it isn't easy on you either,but please talk things out nicely first?
I am going to do whatever it takes to prove it to you.
But one thing for sure is that i am not as strong a person you want me to be.
That i can't change.

Today,i think i did quite well in controlling my negative speech at least.
Well,i was always very close from saying something negative out before i gave a second thought about what i was going to say.
The second thought part worked,but seems like in this way my brain would soon burst open.
Time,i just need time.
I hope just soon i ll be able to close the gate from allowing the negative thoughts fill my mind.
It feels horrible,i cannot say them out.
But i guess its supposed to be a good thing since it'll all go away after some time?
Well,rachael seems happy about my improvement.
I realised almost everyday she had to tell me to stop being negative.the 14 hours i spent with her,no such thing being mentioned (:
Does someone out there understand how i feel?
Well,i just wonder if you can see or feel the difference?
The feeling i get controlling and thinking through my thoughts before i say just makes me feel like pulling out my hair,frustrating.
All i know is that i am trying my best.
Hope there would be good results to these actions.
Someone encourage and give me assurance,please?

Woke up very very early today,like,6.30am!?
and i was supposed to reach queenstown by 7.30am,still not early enough.
reached at 8am,late again ):
anyway,after meeting rach,went to her public pool nearby to swim.
I TELL YOU,i dont think,i ll ever swim there again.
the pool water,is very,very,very salty.
like,sea water.maybe only slightly better?
rach said i was crazy to taste it but well,i dont know,it just enters my mouth ):
dont know why,but when swimming halfway through the lap i ll start bursting into laughter.
cannot even swim properly HAHAHA.
anyway,went back to her house to bath.my hair had so many knots it seems as if i never combed it in my life.
we were planning to reach lee kong chian library at 10am to do srm and ire research,but in the end after eating and everything,we reached at 12plus.
and i swear,i think my srm will give me a hard time.
search so bloody long also cannot find anything much.
anyway we went for pepper lunch at bugis junction after researching for srm at 4plus or 5?
den went back to research for ire,i find it so much more enjoyable then srm D:
and that was the moment when rachael realised that she lost her ezlink card :|
anyway,after *panic**panic**panic*,*search**search**search*,couldnt find anything. D:
went back to her house to get my swimming costume and watch CRUEL TEMPTATION (:
Its so sad,i think the episodes are ending soon you know D:
anyway,i was supposed to do my holiday homework after that.
but as usual i got distracted,LOL.
left at 9plus and here i am,sigh.
tired and bored.
woah,its my first time spending 14 hours with rachael o.o
sigh,whatever lah,the srm was just a killer. dont want to research about changi airport anymore la.HAIYO.

I realised that there isnt any point being paranoid about something that might happened,just because it ever happened.
If it goes well i should just think of how to maintain the present.
Well,i believe i have irritated you quite a lot behaving like that.
I'm sorry but whatever you told me on msn really made me notice how dumb i was.
Well,you're a life saver.
You said you didnt know how to help me,i think you just did.
All would go well as long as i don't keep stopping the flow with my foolish thoughts.
You just made a wake up call.

happy eight months.

How is it ever possible for others to take love so lightly?

I never thought melody tan would ever land up in this state.
If i just held on to whatever i thought was right,this wouldnt have had happened.
We shouldnt have been so certain at all.
This will take a long time to heal.
What if it doesnt?
Please don't give up,you can't do this to me and leave me with all our promises made.
Well,this song really describes how i really feel.



Up against the wall - Boys like Girls

It's over
Look out below
And I'm wasted
I still taste it
Yeah it's so hard to let go
So breathe in now
And breathe it out
The forecast
A car crash
It's looking like another...

Breakdown, rebound
This could be my last goodbye
You cross your heart, I hope to die

And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then you threw me up against the wall
Who said that it's better to have loved and lost?
I wish that I had never loved at all

No rewinds
No second times
And I won't break
I won't waste, everything you left behind
So don't follow
Just let it go
The weather's, been better
Don't let it be another...

Breakdown, rebound
This could be my last goodbye
You cross your heart, I hope to die

And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then you threw me up against the wall
Who said that it's better to have loved and lost?
I wish that I had never loved at all

(this is how you think it is)
All the nights you spent sitting nowhere out there on your own
All the nights I waited by the phone when you were going in alone
And all your different faces and all your different ways are making everything a mess
And all I'm saying is that all your different places and all the complications led to this

And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then you threw me up against the wall
Who said that it's better to have loved and lost?
I wish that I had never loved
And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then you threw me up against the wall
Who said that it's better to have loved and lost?
I wish that I had never loved at all
(Never loved at all)

Its like,i ve been able to predict that this would happen 8months ago,i dont know why.
i just never thought of the cause of this consequence.(i always know what are the bad things coming) Why didnt i think of how to prevent it from coming earlier?

I'm awfully sorry for whatever i've done in the past that was really selfish
but i ve already mended my ways so just put it behind us and not think in this mindset anymore alright?
Dont give up,please dont. even if you fail trying,try again with other methods?
i know we can pull this through together can't we?




Free - Boys like Girls


Carry on, you won't miss me when I'm gone
Won't hear the phone ring
You won't hear me sing
Yeah I'm guilty, guilty of everything
I'll run away
Cause I've gotta find a place where you won't know me
I wanna go so far
Oh I'm guilty, guilty of every charge

Throw away the horoscopes
And don't you ever give up hope
Without me, you will be...
Free, without me
You're free, without me

Settle down
And keep your feet touching the ground
You will be okay
You will see better days
Just watch me
Watch yourself fade away
I love your mind
I love your routine, daily grind
All the words you say
Oh your every day
Just watch me
You'll see I'm gone away

Oh throw away the horoscopes
And don't you ever give up hope
Without me, you will be...
Free, without me
You're free
Free, without me
You're free

Now don't worry 'bout a thing
You can fly without my wings
I know you'll make it on your own, I know
Yeah if you stand up and be strong
I know you'll carry on
And I know that you will see that you're free

Without me, you'll be...
Free, without me
You're free
Free, without me
You're free

Now don't worry 'bout a thing
You can fly without my wings
I know you'll make it on your own, I know
Yeah if you stand up and be strong
I know you'll carry on
And I know that you will see that you're free
Without me

Sigh,this song only half describes how i feel.well,you'll be free without me.
but for those parts "dont you ever give up hope" should be for me.
for now,i doubt i can post another happy post.
i'm such a useless loser.

sixofmarch,was awesome.
(:
all of you reading this should try cycling from bishan,to kallang,and from kallang,to bishan.
HAHAHA.
my bum hurts like crazy now ):
oh and it takes 4 hours for the whole journey after you exclude the time for rest.
you can try cycling against traffic in the express way,cycling with traffic in the express way and
shout,
"OI,CAREFUL AH."
"OK YOU TOO."
for the whole journey cause it was bloody scary and fun :D
I LOVE YOU.

Sigh,baby started working.
I feel like a machine nowadays,always reading this reading that.
i hate reading,seriously. ire and srm essays are killers.
Phone spoilt,now need to use the 6years old samsung. LOL.
I don't know why,but i dont seem to be able to get away the fear of losing you.
Remember whatever we said at the park ah! D:

and
OI,two faced.
You don't gain anything backstabbing me to someone i don't know. You lie so much, what makes you think people would believe what you say
I don't lie to friends like what you do.
besides,do you even know me well?you don't,so just shut up.

I feel happy today.
Last night while lying on my bed and wanting to listen to a few songs before sleeping,
i was thinking of you.
then i heard ur special message ringtone den i squirmed hahaha.
then i read and smiled to myself,yes,like an idiot.
and i smiled myself to sleep.
it's been so long since i've done that.
in the morning,i walked to the bus stop with a smile leh! (:
whenever i missed you i ll read the message again,HAHAHA.
sch sch,blah blah blah.
then after sch i went to j8 to buy bubble tea,alone.
it kinda sucks lah -.- i cannot really drink one whole bubble tea alone.
wanted to bring up to ur house to give you half,but i knew i couldnt hahaha.
so yeah,walked very slowly across ur long block den walked home dragging my feet.
thought of so many things when walking you know,everything reminds me of you.
i looked at the floor at the parking lot number 56,it'll remind me of you waking up early
just to send me to school this year,bus 56 (:
walked to the study corner and thought of the DNT,chem and math.
and when we were still friends,you me and weisiang.
LOL.and how i dared you to slap me -.-
just,everything about us (:

i feel happy,i occupy myself properly. so much better than last time,when i occupy myself for the sake of it.
(:
i ended at 4.30 and reached home at 5.30!
and i bathed till 6.15 cause i was wondering around my empty house hahahaha.i always like to delay time,since young -.-
anyway,practiced piano till 7 den watched korean drama <3
8-8.30 practiced again.
and from 8.30 - 9.15 I READ JANE EYRE.
omg,i hate literature,its turning me nuts.but anyway,i still did you know.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?cause i cant hahaha. i swore in sec 1 i ll drop lit,i didnt know when i came to sota cannot drop it -.-
i did listen in class today okay!
even during math lesson,about degrees.
kinda boring la,but i still listened okay. i self entertained so i could stay awake -.-
anyway,sch was "fun" today.actually to be honest kind of boring.
sigh,its time to stop eating ice cream already. growing sideways more and more D:
someone help me D:
oh and its 9 sch days before its the march holidays. HURRAYYYYYYYYY<3
in 15 days,it'll be our 8th month liking each other and in 19 days,we'll officially be together for half a year.
MY LOVE FOR YOU NEVER WAVERED. hahahaha,so mushy -.-
anyway,its the truth.
i m looking at the necklace you gave me. its sparkling like how your eyes do (:
i love you! :D

oh oh oh oh oh and i m very proud of myself for 1 point,
my parents keep praising me today! HAHAHA.
they said i ve been a very good girl for these two days. (:
last time,they'll ask me, meeting weichyi again?
for these four days they see a weird change in me and they ask,not meeting wei chyi? LOL.
its kinda odd but i give all sorts of excuses about how we are not free to meet or something.
i got so much time thats why i m always on the comp these days,but anyway yeah -.-
okay thats all,its just 26 and a half hours more.
so easy,CHICKEN FEET LAH! :D
i ll try to go sleep or watch some teevee before sleeping.
goodbye world~,sweet dreams especially to you,the person i ve been mentioning throughout this entry (:

melmell-
1O.O2.1994
39kg
154cm
Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Primary
Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Secondary
School Of The Arts! SOTA-ian<3
MTCL; MelodyTanChenLu, MelodyTonglinChloeLuna<3

Kiwi.
More hoodies<3
Grow till 157cm
LOSE 3KG,please!
Get to year 3.
New shoes.
School to reopen?
Finish homework!

GEETWO!<3
CARA !?
CHLOE !? [pok]
CLAIREE♥ !? [saucy beholder]
ELAINE !?
FIONA HANNIE !?
HSIAO SHAN !?
INEZ !?
JUNJIE !?
KEJIA !?
KENGYANGGG !?
LIZ !?
LUNA♥ !? [pinkster]
MARISSAA♥ !? [gurlfren]
MELTAM !? [SM]
MELTEOH !?
MEISIAN !?
NICKTEEE !?
RISAA !?
SEAN !?
TONGLIN♥ !?
TRICIIA !?
TWINNIE♥ !?
VALVAL !?

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